For the last few hours, I have been trying to talk myself out of a relapse. My life is nothing but chaos right now, and I need a break. Back when I was using, things like this didn’t get to me as much. I went through and got high whenever things got crazy. Now, I’m stuck struggling with life, and no way of coping. Going back to using seems like such an easy solution right now.
It Is Really Difficult to Talk Myself Out of a Relapse
No matter what words I put with it, trying to talk myself out of a relapse is hard work. I want to relapse. I want to feel lost again. However, what I don’t want is to go through detox, withdrawals, and rehab again. Those were really difficult times in my life. Plus, they physically hurt to go through. That is literally the only thing keeping me from making a phone call I’m not sure I would regret in the morning.
I keep thinking back to what they taught me in rehab. When things got tough, we had to learn to cope. Stress was going to come and be a part of our lives. The only way to live a sober life was to accept that and plan for it. Maybe I should go back and look through the relapse prevention plan we made. They helped me understand that there were people to help me in these situations. Even though I totally feel alone right now, I know I’m not. Maybe I’m just using that as an excuse.
I Need to Talk Myself Out of a Relapse
I’ve finally realized that I do not want to relapse. That choice would ruin everything I’ve worked so hard for. While I want to run away from the chaos in my life, relapsing isn’t the way to fix anything. It would only add more chaos into my life. What I need right now is to make a phone call and have a friend come over who will help me stay strong. Maybe we will go to a meeting together, since that tends to help me when my resolve gets low. Today could have been a very bad day where all I got was a lot of regrets. However, I am making the choice not to relapse. I wouldn’t be proud of me if I did.